why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
