I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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