You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
