she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Randomize
