HIV tests are more positive than that guy
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
