just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
