I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
