Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
