Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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