Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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