So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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