you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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