And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
