yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize