waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
