we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
