My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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