Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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