Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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