I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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