I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
