i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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