matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
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Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
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