That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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