Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
