its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Fuck me I smell like cheese
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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