tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
