was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize