why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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