All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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