Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
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It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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