margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
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The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
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Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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