I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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