I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
