I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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