Sry I called you an 8
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
