Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
