he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
wow bdsm is so cute
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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