So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
