YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Your mouth is God's brothel.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
