That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
