Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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