Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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