So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
