haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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