Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
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I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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