the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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