I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
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I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize