I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
