why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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