I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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