And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
