i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
