wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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