the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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