Dual....:-)
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize