K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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