was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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