Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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