If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
