Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
